Fin

It was a nice, sunny afternoon on the beach where my friends and I were enjoying a few beers. I was sweating and decided to take a dip in the water. I grabbed my inner tube and headed into the ocean.

I was using the inner tube like a boogie board, kicking my legs to push myself further into the ocean. I felt something smooth and hard knock into my left foot. It startled me.

I immediately pulled myself all the way on the inner tube so my limbs were no longer in the water. I saw a fin circling around me. I panicked. I repositioned myself so I was standing, balancing on the inner tube and yelling for help.

The shark emerged from the water and took a bite out my inner tube. It was deflating and I was going down, but maybe the rescue boat would make it.

A Hot Day in Miami

I came home from class to find an eviction notice taped to my front door. This couldn’t be right. I had paid last month’s rent and the month before that. I have been paying on time since I moved in.

I went down to the lobby to straighten out this mistake. I presented the eviction notice along with some receipts from rent checks I had written.

“Yes, Ms. Redmond, well, I’m afraid you’ve been writing us hot checks so that eviction notice is absolutely correct. We’ll need you out in three days,” the building manager said to me.

“Hot checks? There’s no way,” I told him back.

“Well you need to check your mother’s account balance more often, or whoever Jessica Redmond is. Look here at the top of your checks,” the manager said.

I looked at the top of my checks. It did say Jessica Redmond. But, my mother was Jennifer Redmond. Was that even the right account number? I didn’t think it was. The bank must have sent the wrong checks. I started to panic and ran back up to my apartment.

I was met at the door by a man asking me if I was Katie Redmond. I nodded. He served me papers. I was in a hot mess of trouble.

A Plan Backfires

I had big plans tonight. I was going to see one of my favorite DJs at LIV. I knew I had to look my finest to get into the club, and that meant my hair had to be slammin. However, my thin hair and Miami’s intense humidity required that I use a lot of hairspray for my hairstyle to stay.

So, I curled and I sprayed. Then, I curled and I sprayed. I sprayed some more. I curled a little, then sprayed a lot. I sprayed again. I sprayed the top and bottom; once around then ten times around.

I held my breath as the mist filled not only the bathroom, but my whole apartment.

I heard a breaking news alarm on the t.v.

“This just in,” the newscaster said, “a new hole has developed in the ozone layer. The hole’s origin can be traced to an excessive amount of hairspray used in South Beach on 9^th and West street.”

I opened my front door as mist poured out. I looked up to see if the sky appeared any different. Global warming had kicked in already. It was hotter and more humid than ever. My hair starting falling flat.

Break Free and Run

My cousin and her young daughter, Lily, were in town on a sunny, Miami day, and Lilly and I were spending the afternoon at the zoo so her mother could relax by the pool. Lilly and I had already been through the Arctic Ice Cap and seen the penguins and polar bears. Next up was the Jungle Safari.

I was holding Lily’s hand as we stopped and admired the gazelles. Lilly pointed at them. The gazelles moved in a pack closer towards us. Lilly laughed. The leader of the pack started to headbut the glass gate separating them from us. I had never seen that before.

I pulled Lilly a few steps back. Now there were three gazelles headbutting the glass gate. I picked Lilly up. All ten gazelles charged the glass and broke through. I ran down the trail to the left. I couldn’t look back but I could feel them chasing us. I held Lilly tight and sprinted like I was back in a high school track meet.

I darted into a gift shop, went straight into the bathroom and locked us in. I was panting for air and still gripping Lilly tight. Now the gazelles were the shopkeeper’s burden.

A Chance Encounter

I ordered a grande iced mocha with whipped cream. I needed the caffeine so I could have the energy to finish my school work. I grabbed my coffee and found a seat at a patio table outside.

After a half an hour of work, a thirty-something man asked if he could share the table with me. I looked around. All the other tables were full, so I nodded at the man. He sat down and opened up his MacBook. I could see him peeking at me from over the top of his screen.

“Whaddaya workin on over there?” the man asked.

“Editing some video for a Lay’s commercial,” I replied from over the top of my screen.

“Really?” the man asked. “I work at an advertising firm; Crispin Porter. I would love to see your portfolio, if you have one.”

“Of course,” I replied, trying not to sound too eager.

I showed the man my work. He liked it. He offered me a job at Crispin on the spot. I accepted.

The Only Spider I Like

My apartment was only five blocks from the bar so I decided to walk home. It was a walk I had made a few times before with no complications. I lit up a cigarette and began my 3 a.m. stroll, my heels clicking one after the other against the sidewalk.

I heard some shuffling noises in the 14^th street alleyway. I paused. A man dressed in all black with a black ski mask jumped out from behind the dumpster and ran towards me. My heart fell to my stomach and I screamed. The man grabbed my purse and put his arm around my neck, having me in a chokehold.

“You’re mine now,” the man said, and I knew I was in survival mode.

I was shaking. I closed my eyes, when all of a sudden, his arm was removed from around my neck. I opened my eyes back up. The man was lying on the pavement in front of me and overtop of his body stood Spiderman. I let out a sigh of relief. I wanted to hug the superhero, but as soon as I stretched my arms out he shot a web and took off into the night.

Louboutin Love

After lunch I decided to window-shop. I drooled over the dresses and jewelry I would never own. Then, I came to shoes. I touched the glass, yearning for a pair of Christian Louboutins. I went in, just to take a closer look.

I spied a pair of suede black pumps with a stacked heel adorned with studs. I was in love.

“You try them on?” the sales lady asked in her French accent. “What size? 7? I be right back,” she said.

I went with it. Trying on is free after all. I sat down as the lady brought out my size. She knelt in front of me and pulled out the left shoe. It was even more beautiful on my foot. She took out the right shoe. Suddenly, she pulled the heel up to her eyes with a disgusted look on her face.

She gasped.

“They are ruined,” she said as she looked down. On the bottom of the heel there was a tiny-tiny scratch in the suede. “Here, take them. Get them out of my sight,” the sales lady said as she shoved the shoes in my lap.

I didn’t question. I got a free pair of Louboutins.

Undiscovered

“Excuse me miss,” I heard from behind. I glanced over my shoulder to the left, turning my head only far enough to see behind me with my peripherals.

“Miss,” I heard again. I turned around, this time twisting my head further, catching eyes with a 40-something man dressed in black slacks, a pink button-up, and a black skinny tie. I stood still, letting him catch up to me. He let me know that he was a talent scout who was on Lincoln road, looking for females to cast in his latest project. He told me I had ‘it.’ Well that was nice.

“I want you to be in a movie I’ve been developing.” I looked at him with a skeptical eye. “Can you handle co-starring with James Franco?”

He could see the stars in my eyes.

From Rash to Riches

I woke up this morning feeling a crawling under my skin on the left side of my neck. I scratched ferociously and dozed off again. Ten minutes later the crawling was back. I scratched again. I rolled out of bed to look in the mirror and saw a rash that was spreading in front of my eyes. Immediately, I got dressed and headed out to CVS.

I browsed the allergy isle, quickly grabbing a cream labeled “itch relief” and made my way to the check-out counter. The cashier scanned my cream. Alarms inside the store went off, lights started flashing, streamers fell from the ceiling and balloons rose up from behind the counter.

“Congratulations!” the cashier screamed at me, “you are this store’s one millionth transaction. You have just won one million dollars!”

That rash was the greatest thing to happen to me.